A personal reflection on the decision to return to Sri Lanka
Lakshitha Fernando is a lecturer at the Department of Civil Engineering at University of Moratuwa. The time at FOCUS as a student challenged him to see the wider implications of the gospel. He was the NSE chair during 2013-2014 and is presently a member of the GCF committee. He is married to Chameli and is blessed with an 8-month-old baby girl and they worship at the Mount Lavinia Methodist Church.
In times where many are struggling due to the crises in the country, and grappling with decision of whether or not to leave the country, I have been reflecting on the decision I made to return to Sri Lanka in January 2020, after completing my doctoral studies in Australia. In the midst of all this, I found myself reading and meditating on the story of Nehemiah and as I look back on my decision, I realized that there are some interesting connections between this Biblical story and my experience. I do not mean to say that my decision to return to Sri Lanka is as historically significant as Nehemiah returning to his homeland in the 4th Century BC, but the motivation, struggles and God’s favour through it all are a few connecting points that resonated with me, and is the basis for this present reflection. While there are differences between the circumstances of Nehemiah’s return and mine (e.g. Nehemiah was on a short-term mission and returned to Babylon once his task was complete), the inspiration I draw from Nehemiah for the purpose of this reflection is from Nehemiah’s initial decision to return and his faithfulness towards the task he undertook.
I received an opportunity to pursue doctoral research in Australia, in a non-traditional area of research in Civil Engineering, for which I will always be grateful. I was part of a vibrant research group that worked hard and well together and it made sense to continue with this group even beyond the doctoral work. I suppose this is a tricky decision any academic would face. For me, the deciding factors if I were to remain in Australia were not necessarily driven by finance, job security or even working conditions. In fact, where I studied, most academics were on contracts, and their performances were constantly reviewed. In the field of engineering, the performance is measured in terms of the value of grants, the strength of collaborations with other universities or the industry, as well as the number of scholarly publications generated. When taking into account the fact that these are not only for promotions, but for the periodic renewal of contracts, it won’t be too farfetched to say that these indicators are more challenging than what an academic would encounter in Sri Lanka. My point is that staying abroad after doctoral studies would not necessarily have meant an easy life; there would have been challenging work involved. This is similar to Nehemiah’s situation, where had he continued staying in Babylon as the King’s cupbearer, his life would have continued to be demanding and stressful. This made me wonder, what was his main motivation to return to his homeland? Because, he was not leaving an easy life in Babylon nor was he returning to one in Jerusalem. Often the conversations around returning to the country centre around the latter, where the question of “is it really worth returning” is raised.
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Nehemiah heard negative reports about his home city and wanted to go back. He was reminded of God’s promises to restore all things after the exile. Nehemiah was willing to step out into the mess, to be the agent through whom God can initiate the restoration project. He did this out of a deep burden for his fellow brethren and land, as well as his conviction about God’s faithfulness. In my case, the decision to return to Sri Lanka was not because of any particular promise by God. However, the sense of belongingness and of making myself available for God’s purposes prompted me to take this decision, even if it meant a vulnerable proposition awaited me, since there were no confirmed job opportunities. There was a great deal of peace about the decision to return, which I would put down to trusting in God’s faithfulness.
As I read through the story of Nehemiah, I wondered whether he may have had moments where he thought whether all the struggles and opposition he had to face were really worth it. After all, this was all a choice he made and he tried with the best of intentions. He had valid grounds to return to Babylon if he decided to do so. But Nehemiah chooses to remain faithful even in the face of adversity to complete the task God had put in his heart. From an academic point of view, the area of research I specialized in is not well-established in Sri Lanka and it did seem like there were “walls to build from scratch”. Thankfully for me I haven’t had to deal with Sanballats and Tobiahs, but the archaic hiring procedures, slow functioning support services (especially compared to the setups abroad), disruptions caused by external factors such as the pandemic and present crises have been frustrating propositions to deal with. However, through persevering prayer and patience, God has connected me up with other academics both senior and contemporary who have supported and advised me. This has been particularly encouraging, especially given the reputation of academic setups being highly individualistic. The challenges are by no means over, and I have had conversations with other young and ambitious academics with many dreams and aspirations, who continue to ask “is it really worth it”. Personally, for me, the message of the cross itself is foolishness and perhaps the consequences of cross-shaped choices each of us have to bear are not meant to be pleasant, as I have learnt rather resoundingly through the story of Nehemiah.
As academics, our attitude and reaction towards adversity will invariably get conveyed to our students and colleagues. Throughout the book, Nehemiah comes across as having a very realistic outlook towards the adversities around him and speaks the truth to his people. He was with them and he instilled confidence through his words and deeds. In times such as these, it is easy to feel frustrated ourselves and this could so easily demotivate our students. We must instead speak the truth and challenge them to join in the “wall building” activities of our time. These activities may take different forms for each of us working in diverse fields, but we must recognize and act on the apparent disconnect between our university education (or perhaps the entire education system) and its contribution towards the nation building activities. In saying this, I don’t mean to generalize nor belittle the genuine efforts of individuals and institutions, but if we were to take an honest stock of the contribution of our graduates towards meaningful development in this country, my guess is that we would find room for considerable improvement.
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For example, in civil engineering, which is my field of specialization, thousands of projects are undertaken all around the country, and we boast of extremely high employability and above average starting salaries of our graduates. In fact, these are some of the key indicators when evaluating the strength of our degree programs. However, while all this is well and good, we must also pause to assess how many of these projects have been carried out with proper national priorities in mind in terms of contributing positively to enhance the living conditions of the people. As we further read through the chapters of Nehemiah we see that his intentions were not to merely rebuild the infrastructure, but also to reinstate the “law”, which laid out the way of living for the people of that time. In other words, he sought the development and restoration of every sphere of life. Reflecting on this, I am challenged to realise that my contribution does not merely end at being a good academic by diligently attending to the teaching, research and administrative duties, but while doing it, to remember the broader implications of my work. This of course might be relevant regardless of whether one is an academic in Sri Lanka or abroad, but I suppose, just like it was for Nehemiah (we don’t read about him attempting any of these in Babylon), the need for such intervention might be more in Sri Lanka. Sometimes, this very aspect might be a deterrent for many to refrain from returning (after all, our lives would be much simpler, if we were to just fulfill our roles as academics), but it is important that the ones who do, are perhaps “foolish” enough to believe that God can use us to bring out meaningful reformations. But then again, is it really worth it?
The book of Nehemiah does not end with a rosy picture of him succeeding in all his efforts and the city in a wonderful state. Instead, Nehemiah is still having to put the house in order and it ends with a plea to God asking Him to remember his good work. I am still early in my career, but I wonder if this is how I would feel at the end of it all. But for us as God’s kingdom people praying for “His kingdom to come and His will to be done here on earth as it is in heaven” we are encouraged to dare to do the unthinkable because the consummation of the already inaugurated kingdom will be done on His terms and not ours.
In conclusion, is it really worth it? The continuous pleas of Nehemiah to God to remember his good deeds would suggest that he thought so. As for me, it might be too early to give an answer. However, as of now, if it is purely outcome based, the answer would tilt towards the negative. But the book of Nehemiah challenges me to see that in God’s economy, success or failure is not measured in terms of outcomes but in terms of being faithful. So, as someone who believed it is really worth returning, I continue holding on to this assurance by God.
Questions for Reflection
- For those of us who have studied abroad and returned, what motivated us to come back? What has shaped this decision?
- In your conversations with other academics who do not profess to be “Christians”, what are some of the factors which have motivated them to return, not to return or consider migrating?
- Have there been moments of regrets regarding the decision to return and how have you dealt with such instances?
- How could we challenge the students in our different disciplines to see the national relevance of their studies and their time at university? Do you think such an approach can contribute towards minimizing the brain drain?
- How has or should our understanding about the future consummation, shape our actions as academics?
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The views expressed in this article are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or position of FOCUS, Sri Lanka.